she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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