theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
