Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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