My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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