Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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