and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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