She's JV to your varsity
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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