I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
