My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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