well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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