I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
