dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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