I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
