Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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