The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
