She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
