i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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