Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
