I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
