i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
