I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
