no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
