You don't have asthma, your pregnant
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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