ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
