So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
