And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
