how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize