also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize