in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
