just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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