Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
