girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
