I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
