Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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