are you still at the devil's house?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
