im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
