he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He better not be in your backpack
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
