I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
