Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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