I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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