I just pynch a tree in the face
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
