I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
