Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
