she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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