i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
