Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
