maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
