I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
