apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
