Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
