There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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