Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
