I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
