community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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