she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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