My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
