watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
