your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
