I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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