I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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